How to Deal With Impossible People: 15 Steps - wikiHow
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http://m.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Impossible-People
No wonder introverts have to decompress. And no wonder I miss my friend, Ron, the go-to misanthrope. Lordy J. My buddy the spoiled mooch decided to top the icing on his cake with me by having what I can only describe as an adult temper tantrum. He was really working himself up into an angry tirade and I am so proud of myself. The old me would have slashed and burned. I mean, Ancient Rome style: burn the earth and salt the ashes. But I didn't. I let him have his spoiled little tantrum and walked away calmly. In thinking about it candidly in the confines of this blog I can honestly say he and I will never, ever be as close in our friendship as we once were. Certain things-- once said or done-- cannot be erased. And he crossed some of those non-fixable lines with me during his asshole outburst. I've been reading about the Tao/Zen idea of inaction. That is a much better course.
http://www.sacred-texts.com/tao/salt/salt06.htm
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/let-go-of-control-how-to-learn-the-art-of-surrender/
http://zenhabits.net/allow/
I had a conversation about that last article with a fellow introvert friend. We were musing about the cow in the pasture analogy. I had lunch yesterday with a cute guy (looks like Angry Chef but with dark hair, meow) and I told my introvert friend, "If anything happens with this, it will occur naturally. I'm not forcing anything this time around." It's so freeing. Surprisingly, it was freeing to walk away from butthole's tantrum today, too. I don't want to give someone the energy needed to keep a conflict going like that. Perhaps it's the path of least resistance but I would just as soon keep my opinion away from him. What would it benefit for me to telegraph to him: "Hey pal, you have angered me and I will keep you at arm's length from now on." It wouldn't. It would stoke up conflict and cause him to fly off the handle again. So probably better to drift off slowly and let him think, "I guess we don't hang out anymore because she's really busy" or whatever. If he thinks, "We don't hang out anymore because she's a c**t," that's fine, too. Remember the mantra? Don't go away mad, just go away, LOL. There are what-- like 6 or 7 billion people on the planet. If someone can't behave like a decent, kind person, go away. I can find someone else to talk to besides an arrogant, abusive jackass. I like the wikihow advice:
Remember to "detach, disassociate and diffuse."
