DO NOT CHASE PEOPLE. BE YOU AND DO YOUR OWN THING AND WORK HARD. THE RIGHT PEOPLE WHO BELONG IN YOUR LIFE WILL COME TO YOU, AND STAY.
There were two parents who brought a toddler to Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D. I was stunned when I realized what they had done. That kid will never sleep again. There were two fat people down the row from me who ate a buffet. I lost count of how many times the guy walked in front of me to get refills on their trough of popcorn. They were loud and obnoxious, but I think the psychos who brought in the small child really take the cake. Good God. Who does that?
The above Wu Tang quote is a great summation of what I'm feeling these days. I have a couple of friends that have social anxiety. One claims to be a raging extrovert who's painfully shy and the other I think is damn near agoraphobic. The former is like a spastic hamster. He'll go basically anywhere with anyone to avoid being alone in his own company. However, he's a flake and that pisses me off. He seeks people out, makes plans with them, and then bails if he thinks someone else will make him a "better" offer. As a result, I don't have much desire to spend time with him. The latter is a girl who, bless her heart, really needs to get some therapy. Her social anxiety is crippling and I am not without sympathy. The Anxiety Demon can take you on a terrible ride. She manages to hold down a job, which is good, and she is very reliable at work. She's like the rock star of her office. But her life is segmented between home, work, the bank, and the grocery store. And literally, that's all. She sometimes runs a babysitting service out of her house when she needs extra money because she can do that without leaving the house. If the closest grocery offered a delivery service, I believe she would use it and eliminate that as one of her few errands. On rare occasions when she does agree to leave the house with you, 70% of the time, she cancels. And it's always a health excuse, which is what the other guy tends to do, too. They'll supposedly be sick with everything from flu to pneumonia and then manage to make a miraculous, overnight recovery once they've cancelled on you. I'm not going to judge anyone for being a homebody. With the economy being what it is, there are a lot of people who don't want to blow 50 or 100 bucks on a drunken night out. That's completely understandable. My friend Jon and I love to find coupons and discounts to see how inexpensive a night out can be. LOL. What makes me mad is seeking someone out, making plans, and then flaking out at the last minute. Not cool. After a couple of experiences like that and you learn not to trust those people. I want to say, "If you already know you have no intention of keeping our plans, why are your asking me?" It's a valid freakin' question.
So I think Wu Tang has it right. There are times when certain people or situations need to gently float out of your life. No arguments, no fights, no shouting matches, no tears. Just a slow, easy drift off. Then you do your own thing and let the right people and situations emerge as they will. I'm finding that makes life a lot easier and you don't have that inner, gnawing resentment that comes when you feel like you are being held hostage to someone else's agenda or timeline. It's just not worth the misery. There's an excellent thought from Gregory Corso: “Standing on a street corner waiting for no one is power.” That is such an awesome yet simple idea. Humans are social creatures, yes, but we shouldn't need stimulation 24 hours a day. If so, something is wrong. Or putting your life on hold until you can find someone else to do things with you. Life is funny; you may be waiting a hell of a lot longer than you imagined! Perhaps more importantly, doing things you like when you are saddled with someone who doesn't want to be there or doesn't want to spend time with you, is pretty horrible. And it's also horrible to go along to get along. If you're doing a bunch of stuff that's hell to you but you're desperately trying to make someone else happy and paint on a smile, yeah, that ain't gonna last long. It sounds cliche but it truly is better to either do something alone or have a person with you who genuinely wants to be there than to go with just anybody because you think you can't live without someone else's prescence or approval. As Bill Hicks would say, "It's just a ride."
As a UDT update, I am halfway through week 2. I was beaten up yesterday. I managed to coax a friend into popping my back, which helped. When I got up this morning, the whole thing popped from my neck down to my tailbone. It sounded gruesome but felt terrific. My sternum popped this afternoon, which brought back fond-ish memories. Got on the scale this morning and was 2 pounds down. It's probably mostly water weight at this stage, but I am glad to have it off in any event. You can tell we are still early in January because of what you observe at the grocery store:
People stumbling through the produce section like, "What are these things? I have never seen these objects before." Most of them seem to get bagged salad, apples, and bananas because they are the most easily recognizable. Like the lady at Costco in The Watch using her "flavor snout," LOL.
Anything with terms like diet, lean, healthy, reduced, lower, fat free, etc., has been decimated. The can could say Diet Crisco and they would buy it.
