This is a shallow little installment of blogging I like to indulge in from time to time. It happens when the universe sends a loving greeting card to you of a photo of someone you once liked--or maybe even once loved--but who is now an enemy. Or it could be someone who was an enemy all along. For me this kicked off about a week ago when someone I detest was on the cover of a local paper. I caught sight of it and laughed so hard. This guy was never really rude to me directly but he was a c-block and that for me is quite a sin. If I am trying to work my mojo on a man, do not come over like a third wheel and interrupt the process. This jacker sits down uninvited in a Members Only jacket drinking a shit-ass Corona beer and makes himself at home. Matter of fact, now that I replay it in my mind, he made several lascivious comments to me and it was so gross! Anyway, he has since put on a solid 30 to 40 lbs, has a really bad 80s style George Michael earring, has another bad crap jacket on, has worn out shoes, has a haircut like a monk or a friar, and looks like he made zero effort to clean up for the photo shoot. I can’t watch "Third Wheel Legend" on Mr. Show without thinking of him. How someone can be so oblivious to the fact that he was crashing a romantic move is beyond me. How someone can care so little about being photographed for a newspaper is also beyond me. Unless he thinks that bad ensemble looks good, in which case he is utterly hopeless.
I had another gift from the universe today when I saw another photo of someone else. He has been balding for a while now and I guess it has gotten really bad over the past six months. I almost didn’t recognize him. Had there not been a caption with his name, I wouldn’t have been sure it was him. As I told Margaret: it’s to the point of five-head now. He is getting really bald and he has a huge forehead and the shape of his head itself is really lumpy. He looks like he is about 15 years older than he is in reality. I truly don’t know what to say other than that he seems to have succumbed to the curse of bad appearance. I don’t know if you ever saw the photo of the cat from New Hampshire called Uggs but he is in a situation like that cat: no hair on top, a lot of gnarly hair on the body.
Only at least one can argue the cat has very soulful eyes. Looks like he’s lived 100 lives before. This guy just reminds me of the episode of The Saint where Roger Moore talks about people buying chest hair wigs for freaky parties in Chelsea. But I must tell you that his best friend wears a most obvious toupee so perhaps he too will go the same route. What a waste. The next time I am Simon Cowell-ing myself, I will think of him and at least be glad I don’t look middle aged in my late 20s.
