Ask yourself, "Am I Ryan Gosling?"

I think I need to start placing a hidden cam on my dates so I can share them with my friend, Johnny. He may be the last man left who understands the value of not dressing like a vagrant. Bear in mind, I have started rolling with a group of hippies who are all about peace and love-- yet they don't dress like vagrants. They shower, they wash and comb their hair, and they wear clean clothes. Good God, it's not that complicated.

For the love of God, learn to wear a f*cking suit, jackass!

In point of fact, what I ultimately disliked about my latest blind date (oy vey) is that he was trying reaaalllly hard to be hip. He dropped quite a bit of brospeak on me, which was a major turnoff. Here's a news flash: I'm a woman, not your brah or your broseph. If you can't even temper your frat boy speak for 2 hours on a first date, then why would I imagine being in a relationship with you would be any different? Some of it was that "teasing" that actually treads the edge of verbal abuse. I'm no expert, but I think generally speaking if there is interest, a man will want to make a good impression and not act like a jerk.

As for nitpicking his fashion, which Johnny and I will relish, I think he was attempting to do this:

He had the stubble and the triad layering. His was black undershirt, white henley, and a rusty brown corduroy blazer. Of course jeans and sneakers were at the bottom because trousers and actual shoes are so oppressive. I truly think he imagined he looked like Ryan Gosling, but in reality, it was more like this:

He mentioned that I was dressed beautifully and that he hoped his bummish attire was OK. I think I faked a sneeze to avoid answering, LOL. He said, "I like to keep it casual at all times." CLEARLY, BRAH!