The moron matinee

Went to see Oblivion. Not bad. Seemed like it could have been 30 or 40 minutes shorter but I didn't think it was a bad movie. However, I think every moron in the county was in there. This includes:

*Dick Cheney blowing his nose, hacking, and coughing loudly while never covering his mouth.

*An obese woman with 500 ounces of Pepsi who turned it over and spilled at least half of it on the floor.

*A total creeper who kept reaching his hands down to stroke the dirty theater carpet.

*A man who brought in two toddlers. Initially they sat up my ass but moved because they wanted to be closer to the screen. And because there is a God and He heard my prayers to make them get away.

*An obese man who stretched his legs out on the seats and fell asleep about 30 minutes in.

*Three giggling teenage girls who theater-hopped and then left when they realized they weren't in a Justin Bieber biopic.

*Peter Griffin in a beanie hat.

*A family that got into an argument before the previews started. This culminated in the daughter walking out and the mom saying, "Well, that's just fine. You go out there and you just freeze!"

*Another family that got into an argument because the son asked the mom for quarters to the arcade. Her response was, "Jared, I don't fucking have any quarters today." Setting that example high for your 8 year old there, lady.