My genius plan to save Idol

I read this rumor on TV Guide recently that Simon might leave American Idol after this season, which they claim is due to his tight schedule with the 45,000 other shows he does. (http://www.tvguide.com/American-Idol/Simon-leaving-Idol-1005002.aspx) Of course this could very well be a publicity stunt or an effort to bleed out even more money but it got me to thinking about who could replace him if he did leave. I have been an Idol fan since the beginning and have watched every show with anticipation . . . until this season. I don’t know what it is—the new fourth judge who I find totally unnecessary and irrelevant or the crappy crop of contestants they picked this time or the bizarre judges’ save card or all of the above—but I have not enjoyed it nearly as much this time. I fell asleep multiple times during the show last Tuesday and thought the Tuesday before that Simon might be on crack when he gave a standing O to that goofy kid on the neon toilet who butchered “Mad World.” Ugggh.


So here is my pitch that I think would save American Idol, not that anyone on God’s green earth gives a damn:

(1) Eliminate the fourth judge. Boot her like the fourth judge on Britain’s Got Talent got the axe.

(2) Keep Randy and Paula (if she is coherent and can make logical comments).

(3) Bring back the periodic guest judges, especially the ones like Gene Simmons who are scathingly honest.

And, drumroll please, my most brilliant of ideas:

(4) If Simon leaves, introduce as the judge who will take his place one Jeremy Freakin’ Clarkson. Yes kids, if you want a judge who will say exactly what needs to be said in a way that would make Simon look tame, you gotta get Jezza.

I would pay money to hear his assessments of some of these people who audition on Idol. There would be an outcry of people on the PC police that would be mad and ratings would go through the roof. And I would end up in the hospital for cracked ribs from laughing.

I am telling you this is a genius idea. Bring in Jezza!