Movie / Video Fest

It has been bitter cold this weekend. Really a good weekend to be indoors as much as possible and certainly to have a little nip of the old alcohol to warm up the bloodstream. As it pleasantly turned out, we actually had some variety at the theater this weekend and I ended up with a boatload of stuff to catch up on at home. Hence, we had a Movie / Video Fest. (Plus American Idol debuts this week and I am happy for that. I know, I know, I'm a nerd like that. Watched it since the very beginning and I still find the show amusing.)

I was excited to see Gran Torino-- I just didn't realize how many OTHER people were excited to see it, too. Good Lord Almighty. When we got to the theater, my friend and I were commenting on how we'd never seen this particular place so full. Not even on James Bond premiere night when it looked like you couldn't put another person in the building. This level of crowding was even worse. We were puzzled as to why so many people were out there on such a cold-ass night. While in this huge line, we saw/heard the following things:

*a little teenager who thought she was hella cool dropped a giant vat of Pepsi onto the tile floor. It made such a loud slapping noise that everyone turned to stare at her. I erupted into loud laughter unintentionally. The more I thought about it, however, the more I realized it needed to happen because she was the kind of kid who just looks entirely too arrogant.

*The hicks behind us saying, "When does that Paul Blart Mall Cop come out? That looks like it's gonna be real good."

*a child of maybe 7 or 8 whose parents had given him an asymmetrical Flock of Seagulls haircut

*tons of men in fatigues

*an old lady in a fur coat

*a lot of police presence

So once we get into the auditorium, we immediately realize why the theater is so damned crowded: everyone is there to see Gran Torino. Damn and blast. We will be sausaged into some crappy seats with people all around us. The old lady in the fur coat ended up sitting by my friend and gnawing the hell out of her popcorn like it was going to evaporate in 10 seconds. I remember we had to suffer through that fucking Watchmen preview again where the man with no penis and glowing eyes makes me laugh. Can't really remember what else was involved. Clint Eastwood's character in the film, Walt, reminded me so much of Hal in NYC and my friend Ron from work. Just your sort of stereotypical grizzled, hardened, hard-boiled and extremely politically incorrect ex-military man. It is not a film for anyone who is squeamish, I will say that. Not to be a spoiler but you find by the film's conclusion that Walt makes a difference in his own life by opening himself up to people he thought he had nothing in common with. Turns out he feels he has more in common with the people he previously hated than with his own family.

We also went to see The Unborn. After a film with as much heaviness as GT, it was a strange comedic breath of fresh air. Not meant to be a comedy, of course, but it is one. Strange-ass concept about a Jewish demon who keeps trying to be reborn into a human body. I wish more horror movies would come along that are R-rated. PG-13 = lots of loud, annoying kids. The teenaged dude who sat behind me must have scratched and readjusted his genitals 100 times. If it has gotten to that point, for God's sakes, see a doctor. Anyway, yeah, if you want to see a goofy horror flick that is more like a black comedy, The Unborn will make you laugh.

More on bad B-grade films momentarily.

Yet again, Margaret was gracious enough to record a collection of 80s cuts for me from VH1 Classic. After I got home from the movies, it was too cold to want to go anywhere else. So I had a little impromptu 80s dance/pajama party for our enjoyment. Goodness gracious. Some of those videos I hadn't watched in years. I had totally forgotten that Kenny Loggins has a weird emotional scene on a white pillow in the vid for "Danger Zone." It was great fun. My jaw was still sore yesterday from my dental work on Thursday afternoon so it was a nice diversion.

Every so often, I get a hankering to watch some really bad B-grade movies. I saw this film called The Hard Road and if you need a laugh, watch it. You can get it on Netflix and it will crack you up. (Go to http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0124707/ to see its IMDb write-up.) Observations from this film:

In one scene, the main character has to go to a VD clinic. At said clinic, she sees the following cast of miscreants:

Fat chick knitting
Donovan playing a guitar and having a concert in the lobby of the VD clinic
An old obese man with polio
A beatnik smoking

Other sights:

Doctor in a pink polo shirt in front of a Rembrant painting
Doctor had bad pencil moustache
Flashes of genitals with huge sores
Transgender man at jailhouse had on a gray wig
One of the drug addicts had the same name as one of my co-workers
Jimmy the Smack Head had starved himself down to 125 lbs.
My thought during the display of diseased genitals: "I bet this is what Pawpaw saw when he went to Mom and Dad."
At the jailhouse, there was a drug dealer, a drug smoker and a tranny that looks like
Bill Murray (in a gray wig)
Tranny became excited at prisoners' cat-calls
All of the men wore man-dals
Totally filthy shower area


Uggh. Can't believe the weekend is nearly over. It is still so weird to be back to the normal, full-out 5 day work week after the holidays. Everything still feels a bit foreign. Not that I want to relive Christmas so soon. Just will be glad for another break. Am planning for travel soon. Margaret and I were discussing that at the theater last night. January is nearly halfway over! It will be vacation time all too soon. And I am very happy for it!