The PM-tini (from Friday)

"I want it red. It's made for an Aries so I want it red. Aries RED."



"Why are there babies back there? Who takes an entire army of kids into a bar?"



"You know it's on the downhill slide when you are dating someone with that level of baggage. That is like going out on a date with Samsonite."



"I have to say I took a swig of that out of a straw when I made it and actually, it's not bad."
"It's supposed to be like that. A collection of strange ingredients that sound just awful on paper but then when you put them together and shake them up, it all tastes very good."



"It's a drink to have when you want to mind-erase."



"You been hidin' your love away, you dirty, dirty man!"



"I am 1 degree separated from . . ."



"The only thing I can think to say is that when you sing, you sound haunted."



"A lays a long."



"Can I charge this as a debit?"
"No, you may not."
"Damn it!"



"There's always the emergency exit if it comes down to it."
"But we like this place . . ."
"Why are you having a breakdown about it? I was joking."



"You were all laid back on Piers and you had the nerve to speak to him like he is a HUMAN BEING."



"He hasn't waited months, he's waited years."



"I will be like Dracula. I can even write a letter like Dracula."
"Dra-kool. And after the trip, you can say you literally have crossed an ocean."



"He wouldn't even watch Red Dragon by himself."
"Wow. My dad and I went to the theater to see that. It was like a family night at the movies for us."



"This man has given us somewhat poor service."
"I would say so."



"To me, it tasted like a bowl of Trix cereal chased by a lemon. But it was free so I'm not complaining."



"Have you ever been married before?"
"Oh God, no."
"Well, no wonder. When people get married, they never have sex anymore."
"What's the point in that?"



"Val-kyrie-a-lays."



"What was that Judas Priest song that all those kids killed themselves to? They could play that in this movie."



"You wouldn't know it in this portrayal but he truly has stunning eyes."



"When the nub came up everyone laughed."



"It looked like a bomb had gone off. Clothing was laying around everywhere. And then when we left, we saw an ambulance pull up. Someone probably looked at the prices and stroked out."



"Michael Fucking Hee-branko. In a Hoveround."



"Ricky was hot. He had, like, the big blue eyes and the super cut jawline."



"I like him but I am not entirely sure he isn't a crap-ass friend. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell."



"Jezza is a god amongst men. He is 6 foot 5 and you OBVIOUSLY are not. You want to be an imitation of him but it is never gonna work!"



"I'm sure if Jeremy could have heard that speech, he would have felt like king of the universe."



"Regardless of other things, everyone has a butthole. And they can feel free to use it."



"The broken off tool and the scratched up vagina. What a pair."



"It's a pretty saucy tart who can already garner a bad reputation on another continent."
"Your reputation will precede you."
"Most definitely."



"I fell into the wall."



"Get along, little doggies."