The Clay Pigeons Drinking Game

Copyrighted to me, its inventor, thank you very much.

The rules are simple as you might imagine. I don't recommend taking shots for this unless you want to be unable to walk or breathe by the end of the night. Instead, I would suggest pouring up some cocktails for it and taking a drink of whatever you have each time one of these things comes on screen. When my friends and I did this, I plowed down a half pint of whiskey by myself just on this film. It's the game to play when you are in the mood to drink and laugh. But be smart: don't die from it. Or you'll make Lester Long mad!

If you haven't seen the film, watch it already, WTF. So it goes without saying that if you haven't, this list will involve spoilers. I have tried my best to put them in chronological order for ease of use.


Times to take a sip whilst watching Clay Pigeons:

*"Mr. Like to Do it From Behind."

*when Amanda throws the dirt clod on Earl's coffin

*Any time that Doc Holiday's is either mentioned or is shown on screen

*"9-1-1, Clay, how hard can it be?"

*Any time Lester does the nod coupled with the nervous smile or nervous laughter

*"Lester the, uh, MO-lester."



*Any point during the boat scene with Clay and Lester. Way too many good quotes to pick here.



*Any time Cafe Mim's is on screen



*Any time Hyrum Jensen's furniture store is on screen



*When Lester is in Amanda's house and says, "Here's Daddy."



*Lester Long's eye-winking at Clay and Kimberly



*When Shelby introduces Agent Ren-NARD



*During the interrogation when Shelby shows Clay the homemade porn video



*When Lester calls Clay on the phone and says, "Clayburn, hello?"



*At the river when Lester knocks Clay over and says, "Take it slow, take your ass slow . . ."



*At the river where Lester says, "A little old whacky . . ."



*At the river where Lester says, "Try the p-word: patience."



*When Shelby tells Barney not to poke the dead body with a stick



*When Clay says Lester worked for Scanlon Van Lines



*When Ren-NARD is searching Clay's house and says that he too suffered a broken waterbed


*When Lester visits Clay in jail. Really any quotes here are good. Some of these include:
"Mornin', glory."
"Only one count."
"You are a wild one."
"Showtime!"


*"A girl who drinks Johnny Walker Black and even pays with her own money. I can't wait to start dreamin' tonight."


*"I'm like a big fireworks show. Very bright. Like Lite Brite."


*Barney in the jail to Clay: "This ain't corndogs on Sunday."


*On the dock when Lester says, "It's about to get weiiiiiiiiiiiiiirder!"


*On the dock when Lester says, "Go on, Clay. Squeeze that fucker."


*At the diner when Lester calls the attendant "Happy Boy."


*At the diner when Lester tells the attendant not to touch his straw