We save it up for, like, good occasions

I am such an old lady. I have been on my feet for practically the whole day and night and my dogs are barkin' at me now, as the old folks always used to say when I was a kid. Shit. I have foot aches. I've been having this weird joint pain in both my feet that bothers me sporadically and I feel like I need to get one of those old lady hot water foot bath things. Sad, very sad, I know. It was, however, a highly productive day so I shouldn't complain too much.

Funny quotations, observations and lessons from today:

* "I don't really know where stuff is in this store because I'm only a cashier." Wow, that's really helpful of you, thanks.

* "Oh. I guess the backpacks are probably over there in that huge cluster of backpacks that is as tall as the ceiling of the store. How in the HELL did we miss the tower of backpacks?"

* A silent thought to myself when my friend was trying to get a suitcase off a top shelf: "What would Simon Templar do? Think, damn it, think." So I stacked several other suitcases on top of each other and climbed the display.

* "I feel like an old woman but I am just tired. I can't party all the time like I used to. The 24/7 drunken existence does not appeal to me. I like to party and make it count but not every day."
"We save it up for, like, good occasions."

* "I think it will be great when I pull my Incredible Hulk velcro wallet out at Hush to pay for the meal."
"Yeah. I think that would get us 3, 2, 1, expulsion from the restaurant."

* "Somehow, Dora the Explorer is not the image I want to project. That's not what gets you action. In fact, that says DO NOT TOUCH in a really big way."

* "I want it to be bright and recognizable but I don't want to be walking around looking like a retard. I wanna be the cool tourist who's large and in charge. But I don't wanna get robbed either."

* A collection of hooligans in the Dollar Tree store acting like straight-up idiot assholes. You got the "grandma" of the family who is probably not older than 50 but looks like an aging barfly and is wearing a hooker-esque ensemble. Two strange man-children who seem like they should be nearing adulthood but who behave like 4 year olds who chase each other across the store. A toddler in the buggy who places everything in her mouth. Another woman with this crew who looks like she does heroin. Often.

* A random downpour / electrical storm that dropped a monsoon amount of rain over the city and then disappeared from whence it came. Is this connected to Hurricane Gustav, which has constant press from the media? Do we know? Do we care? Such probing questions in the universe.

* I ate a black bean burger and a huge serving of steamed broccoli. Yeeeeah. Maybe not the best combo of fiber on top of fiber on top of fiber.

* A man at the movie theater who looked like Ray Liotta and who stared freely at my boobs with no effort at all to conceal his intentions. He then told us to go to the left and turn down a hallway to find the auditorium. The kicker here is that the only thing to the left was a brick wall. I think maybe he was disoriented to that degree just from staring at my ta-tas.

* A random child I saw in my neighborhood this morning while mowing my lawn. Out of nowhere, this kid emerges and is walking on the sidewalk. I have no clue where she came from. It was like she materialized from the concrete somehow. First off, it was 90 degrees outside and ridiculously humid. She was carrying a sleeping bag and a weird purse. She was wearing a t-shirt with heavy, thick flannel pants and she looked severely pissed off. I assume she was walking home from a sleepover. Nevertheless: it is too hot to be dressed in heavy PJs as you walk home in the blistering sun. Very odd.

Ok. Time to get back to Dark Shadows. I am like a crack-mouse for this show. I have been renting the DVD collection and it is addictive. Yes, I know, it is very much a soap opera, but it is cool. There's actually a story going on instead of people just humping. I got no problems with people humping, don't get me wrong. But I am not big on soap operas at all. Dark Shadows is different-- it's got a cool edge and more of a plot to enjoy. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it. It's worth your time.