"Neighbor callin'!"

Below is a spoiler-filled review of Homefront. If you don't want the spoilers, skip this.

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I read a few reviews that blasted the film and made it sound horrendous. But that's sorta like, "WTF were you expecting? An Oscar contender?" Although with that being said, this reviewer's comment about the Schwarzenegger star test of not even attempting to mask an accent cracked me up: http://www.laweekly.com/2013-11-28/film-tv/homefront-jason-statham/. You could say the same of Fassbender's Magneto who apparently does his best accent when speaking German; everything else is a crapshoot. But I digress.

There ought to be an award for who looks the shittiest. Like Charlize Theron in Monster. Jason Statham just looks and acts like, well, he always does. When you go see one of his action movies, you know exactly (or you damn well should) what you're signing up for. Kate Bosworth makes a pretty convincing meth-head trashy wife with a fat-ass Eric Cartman kid. I don't know what she weighs but it was like a flashback to Christian Bale in The Machinist. Oy vey. Go eat a cheeseburger and wash it down with a chocolate milkshake IMMEDIATELY. Winona Ryder kinda looks the part, but not really. You can still tell it's an attractive person dressed in slut clothes. When I've seen meth hookers on the rough side of town, they don't look like that at all. They should have found someone who looks like reality:

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/iv-drip/the-shocking-before-and-after-pictures-of-meth-addicts--warning-disturbing-images-8392937.html

Anyway, I didn't think it deserved the haterade reviews. It's a mindless action movie-- it doesn't need to be anything else. Besides: you get a redneck named Gator who burgles your house while announcing, "Neighbor callin'!" I think what might have made it better would be a mash-up with a Sling Blade.

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The theater was crawling with people. Homefront had, like, 10 people but the kid movies were packed. There was a shithead kid who got walked out before she even made it through the line. She was so unruly and out of control that her mother said, "To hell with it. We're leaving because you won't calm down and behave." I'm glad she punished the kid by leaving but it's sad that it comes to that.