Post #800

Lots of ranting went into that number, LOL.


"If you’re hanging in there with the wrong guy, you will never find the right guy. - See more at: http://quentinmccall.com/youre-wasting-time-wrong-man/#sthash.eTVIO8D1.dpuf"

Went to a party today and, in all honesty, I didn't go in a totally Zen "whatever happens, happens" way. I had a hope and things did not go as I wished. There was a total creeper who was a clinging vine. He kept trying to shove alcohol down my throat and asked me if I would leave the party and go with him to a Mexican gas station for tacos. (?!?!) I was like, "No, I'm not interested in that." He also pulled out a janky, busted iPhone to show me pics of his infant son. Newsflash: why are you not here with your baby mama??? He was weird and aggressive. Not to mention he hadn't bathed and told me he is moving to Belgium soon to further his career in construction. I didn't understand much of it and didn't want to. Getting in a car with a total stranger to eat gas station tacos sounds like a sure fire way to get raped and/or murdered. PASS.

Made some new friends and actually had some good conversations except for Creeper Dan (or whatever his name was). My secret hope was that my crush would take a green light and ask me out. Sadly, no such luck. I left a good opening but he didn't take the shot. Instead of making a bunch of bullcrap reasons for this (as we women are so apt to do), I thought, "Time to move on." It's amazing how often we settle for crumbs when we really want the steak dinner. What attracted me to this guy is that we have some intellectual things in common. Our politics are similar and he seems like a nice person. I was interested in going on a date to see if there's anything beyond that BUT I sure as hell am not going to linger around, pining for it to happen. I used to do that and it never brought me anything but disappointment and heartbreak. One of my greatest discoveries is the power that comes when you don't base your life around other people. When you retain ownership and stay in the driver's seat-- THAT is power. After you've been approaching things in a Zen way and then you revert back to having an agenda, you feel the folly of your ways even harder. That sting of, "Damn. I know better" pops you firmly in the backside. It's easier said than done, of course, when you like someone and want a date. But forcing the issue won't get you there. Creeper Dan is actually a good example: he can't get the wherewithal to take a bath or watch his son but he can superglue himself to me and offer to take me for tacos, LOL.

Win some, lose some. Mild Crush now moves to the "not worth the time" list.