An Open Letter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqRHE_II90A&sns=em 

"It was too late . . ."

Dear Former Friend, 

It sucks that things did not work. I can't hear:

"Baker Street" by Gerry Rafferty 
Michael McDonald
Toto
Rick Astley 

Without remembering our friendship. And I guess it sucks to me that it never was meant to work. Partly because I don't know why. Why could we not get it right? I was thinking about that part in "Undun": climbing a mountain that was far too high. Seems like it should have always been straightforward and easy, yet it wasn't. There was some impetus to make it go beyond its intended limits. Maybe two people going through clinical depression at the same time shouldn't try to plan a vacation together, I dunno. I was in the middle of a fucked up mess bullshit excuse for a relationship and I wanted so badly for it to be "the one." Although clearly it was not. Then I got where I was going and the dynamic was not at all what I expected and it felt strange. And wrong.


It sucks. I still mourn for it. 

Especially when: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSIw09oqsYo&sns=em