I saw this article and thought about my time quitting MySpace. (Back in the day when that site was still relevant and people used it, LOL.) I never have gotten on FB and never intend to. I know the statistic that some outrageous number of people in the world are on there. Don’t care. Don’t want it and don’t need it. It seems to feed several demons that I don’t think are healthy for people:
*You, on your own, are not enough. You need 5,000 “friends” in order to be relevant and valid.
*Other people’s approval is important.
*FB friends are the same as real-world friends that you’ve met in person and established a rapport with.
*Staying connected all day long is important. Finding other ways to occupy your time is boring.
*Posting every inane detail of your life is cool.
*Life really is a big popularity contest like high school. FB is the high school for adults.
*Telling the world in real time when you are away from home is a good idea because it makes it very easy for robbers to ransack the house in your absence.
I was the kid in high school who belonged to every clique and no clique. I had friends from each group and didn’t much care about what anyone thought of that. I recall the semester of law school I suffered through and it reminded me so much of high school. I never would’ve expected that. Everyone was a catty gossip whore, drugs were rampant, and we even had lockers (yes, lockers) like kids. *Sara rolls her eyes.* WTF. I basically felt like hs was a waste of my time and an insult to my intelligence when I was there as a teenager; so why would I now, at age 32, want to relive it? I wouldn’t. Plus I think it’s flat-out dangerous to fool yourself into thinking that a damn stranger off the internet is as trustworthy as someone you’ve spent time with face-to-face. Believe me—that is not the case. I got burned in that very scenario and I simply can’t believe I was so naïve and stupid. The way people live is masked from you online. You don’t see the day-to-day trappings of their home life. If someone in the home is a recreational drug user, a drunk, a psycho, a cult member, whatever, you’re not privy to that online. I think about the popularity of Catfish and how many people are getting gulled by bogus relationships. (Or in the case of the Notre Dame football player, who the hell knows!) Here’s a newsflash: you don’t know these motherf*ckers. You don’t. It’s hard enough to know someone that you are spending time with in the flesh. Someone can lie to you to your face and talented manipulators are excellent at hiding the bad things they don’t want you to see. It’s a terrible thing to know that someone you cared about lied to you and misled you while you had stars in your eyes. How much easier is it done over the internet?? Good grief, people.
I had lunch with a friend today and we were talking about certain people and situations that don’t change. She said, “I used to try to be friends with my ex-es because I felt like turning a blind eye was like saying, ‘This person is a disposable commodity.’ Now I see it differently; there are some people who you do simply have to walk away from.” I told her I look at it like detoxing from a toxic situation or person. If you are trying to stay tethered to a person, place, or thing while trying to detox at the same time, it doesn’t work out very well. That’s a bit like saying, “I’ll drink less instead of putting the bottle down completely.” Maybe you can, maybe you can’t. But most likely, you can’t. This friend’s ex likes to open the door with her with something plausible or reasonable and then it devolves into one of two things: a verbally abusive tirade or a tearful request for her to come back. She’s finally had enough and decided to refuse the ex’s calls and I am so glad for her. She’s getting her phone numbers changed and holding fast to a no contact rule. It was remarkable to see the positive change in her. I hadn’t seen her since before Christmas and it was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. I’m sure she felt the same thing about me. It’s nice to meet people under happy circumstances instead of under a black cloud. Sometimes that’s inevitable since life is not always sunshine and roses but still. The good seasons are nice when you get them.
