It's been a productive Christmas Eve. I think it's cool that one suggestion Greg Behrendt and his wife present in
It's Called a Break-Up is to redecorate. Get rid of his stuff and anything that reminds you of him or the relationship, obviously. But shake up your surroundings in other ways, too. Exactly. Why not, I thought. The color I picked for the living room ceiling was lighter than I'd wanted it. The furniture in the living room could stand to be rearranged. My bedding could stand a change. So I started tackling some of these household projects and it feels pretty good. It's nice too to be on my own timeline and my own agenda. I guess I had forgotten what that was like. And how great it is. I hate that feeling of being held hostage by someone else. It happens to all of us sometimes-- a client who dawdles before calling you back, a friend who waits until the last minute to tell you whether she's available, a family get-together that takes forever to coordinate. It happens. But when it stems from someone you are in a relationship with or even a close, meaningful platonic friendship with, it's like, "Really? How does common courtesy not apply here?" But you play a part in that as well and that's something I've had to learn the hard way. Now that I know and understand my introversion (ISFJ is my personality type), it's easier for me to "get" why I loathe being trapped somewhere with no means of escape. When I'm tired and drained from an experience or a group of people, I'm ready to tap out. And frankly, as the time drags on, I become less and less pleasant to be around in that context. Like I told Jon tonight, "In a one-on-one context or a very small group, I'm good for a long time. In a loud party or a large group, eh, not so much. After about an hour, I'm done." I had a couple of different invitations that I could have redeemed but, upon reflection, I opted out. Honestly, it felt really freakin good to be lazy on Saturday. I finished some Christmas shopping, bought groceries to prepare for this possible snowstorm, and watched Lawless on the PPV. I also finished watching the Fantastic Four while I painted the ceiling. I could've gone out drinking and partying, but I just had no desire for that. And maybe more importantly, I didn't feel the need to
justify it to anyone else. A simple "no thanks" was enough as far as I was concerned. I'm in much more of a take it or leave it mode now. I spent too long trying to be someone I wasn't in order to keep someone I didn't like or respect in a relationship that was crap. As Jo Dee Messina says, "My give a damn's busted."
Went with my friend Jon to see Jack Reacher. I've been in the process of reading the first book and I still haven't decided if I like it yet. The movie was good. Not as good as Ghost Protocol, but good. I found myself looking forward to this outing all day long and thinking, "THIS is what I like doing." I am a movie nerd and it's hard for me to relate to people who say they hate going to the theater. What the hell, people. We talked about Dynasty, Hanukkah, food, coupons, and the death of Jack Klugman. My grandma had randomly "gifted" me with a card to Applebee's, which we used basically because the meal would turn out to be free. Also:
"We're mourning Jack Klugman. Let's make a mess!"
