Also went to see a friend's band and they were better than I expected. The guy who plays piano/keyboards looks like Prince Harry if he had sandy blonde hair instead of being a ginger. Me-ow.
After that is when the night got weird. I guess the man in the matinee masturbating to The Watch was an omen. There was a music festival going on downtown with a bunch of unsigned indie bands. Typically, that is the sort of thing I would never go to. Especially in the middle of a heatwave in an asphalt, concrete oven. That being said, a friend of mine was out there and had been stood up by his other pals. I thought, "Eh, why not?" I figured I'd stay a short time and then head out. Oh wow. I mean, WOW. The bands were pretty terrible, but the people-watching was magnificent. In no particular order, we saw:
*a dude with a big, bushy beard wearing a red satin women's pajama shirt
*a 60 year old guy trying to be Elvis Costello
*Another 60 year old dude trying to be Bill Nighy
*A man I described as being a cross between the Red Baron Pizza character and Carl Jung. I think that may be the finest, most supreme call I have ever made.
*Several anorexic girls trying to be Lisbeth Salander
*A guy who looked like a cross between Zach Galifianakis and Richard Simmons
*Several homeless versions of Fabio
*A girl walking around in a long red ballgown with no shoes on
*A group of unattractive co-eds making semi-pornographic photos in an alley for their Facebook pages
*A young couple with their freakin' infant on a dirty sidewalk making "avant garde" photos
*A girl in a cocktail dress with a pair of toe-shoe running shoes
*Many incarnations of Cheech and Chong
*A lady who looked a lot like Joan Plowright (think Mama Nadja in I Love You to Death) dancing in halter dress to a very loud, off-key version of "Pick Up the Pieces" by the Average White Band.
*An elderly man in a Batman shirt doing a modified stomp dance to the same song
*An elderly gay man doing a weird menage dance with a scared hetero man and a woman to the same song
*A guy with a really nice butt. I almost pinched it but I figured with my luck, he'd either be gay or have a giant 6' girlfriend standing close by.
*A man asleep (nay, comatose) on a white leather couch inside the Retro Pub.
*A girl wearing a black 1990s era dress that was part sheer and part fabric. Like this Roxette look:
She came in with a guy my friend labeled the lead singer of Mumford & Sons, LOL. He had on the vest and everything.
*When I ducked in to use the bathroom, two girls in hooker clothes were having a discussion about pregnancy. The pregnant one said, "I will continue going out in tight clothes until I start to show. Then it's all over for me."
*One of the bars was serving some foreign pansy beer, which sounded very much like a Steven Urkel Pilsner.
