In a phrase: it was odd.

In addition to the various other movies I am a nerd for, I am a Christmas Carol nerd. I watch at least one version of it every holiday season. It's a tradition. I was skeptical and had no expectations but I went to see the Jim Carrey A Christmas Carol this weekend and . . . I am really glad I had no expectations. Roger Ebert may think it needs 4 stars but I think he called that one wrong. If all you care about is the visual aspect, I am sure you will be pleased. But if you actually want to be entertained by the film, you are out of luck.

Note: spoilers will ensue.

I believe this is the first and only version of ACC I've ever seen where I did not care that Scrooge was redeemed-- I just wanted it to end so I could go back home and watch Goodfellas for the 20th time. I never have that reaction. Linda Goodman (the astrologer) contends that every Sagittarius is both a cynic and an optimist rolled into one body. I tend to agree. If you know anything about Bill Hicks (http://www.billhicks.com/bio.html), you get how it's possible for someone to be cynical and dark yet full of hope. The whole idea in ACC of this miserly asshole experiencing his awakening is sort of an example of that-- that it's important not to lose hope because in so many cases, people are capable of being better than they are. When I get aggravated with people who are close to me, in many cases, it's because I know they are capable of being better and doing better. I go through that to illustrate just how much I am jubilant at the end when Scrooge realizes the error of his ways and changes. Not in this movie.

The beginning of the film does a good job of creating a dark, dreary atmosphere and establishing that no one likes Scrooge. I also thought it was a nice touch to make Scrooge emaciated and hideous. I didn't much like or understand the way Bob Cratchit looked. I also didn't like Fred's appearance much either. One point that pissed me off severely was that Marley's ghostly visit was made funny. Oh no, no, no. That's not meant to be a funny part. The bit of humor that Scrooge attempts about "more gravy than grave" is meant to be funny but not the entire scene! WTF. The bit in the story about Marley's jaw falling is scary, not comic relief. The Ghost of Xmas Past was weird. He looked like a flaming sperm head. (The best way I can think to describe it. Honestly.) In the story, this ghost is an old man. Not a sperm head on fire. The part about Scrooge seeing his sister, Fan, and feeling remorseful for how he's treated her son, Fred, is glossed over. That pissed me off. I know it's a short bit in the story but it's one of those moments on film that foreshadows Scrooge's changed behavior towards Fred later in the plot.

The Ghost of Xmas Present shows up looking strangely like a ginger Viking. That was not as distracting as the choice to make their journey occur by Scrooge's living room hovering over London with an invisible floor. ?? I found that bizarre and unnecessary. In fairness, I cannot comment on the film's rendering of the Cratchit home because I got up to pee. By this point, I knew going to the bathroom would not make me miss much. When I came back, they were still at the Cratchit house and I do not recall there being a scene that corresponded to the miners and laborers celebrating Christmas. The scene at Fred's house was short but served to show that everyone was having a party and a laugh at Scrooge's expense. I do not recall this version having the scene where Scrooge sees Belle at home with her husband and children. That too was a missed opportunity. It sort of says, "Everyone else is happy but you, asshole!" But it does not lend itself to all the 3-D hoo-ha so I suppose it was chopped out. When the ghost lifts his robe, they omitted the line "beware the boy the most." That also pissed me off.

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come was well done in terms of being a dark spirit in a robe that does not speak. And the depiction of the hearse coming for Scrooge was good. One of my favorite scenes in the various versions of ACC is when the men are talking and one declares that he will attend the funeral if free food is provided. That scene was glossed over and that disappointed me. Showing that Scrooge's fellow businessmen didn't care anything about him serves to further highlight that he's spent his life being a slave to something that will give him no comfort. Scrooge is shrunk down to be the size of a mouse who runs down pipes and across cobblestones, which I do not for the life of me understand. I guess it was some little something thrown in for the kids in the audience, I dunno. I found it too to be distracting and needless. The great scene where the workers pawn Scrooge's belongings is quite short. They omitted the line about calico, which adds to my list of disappointments. By the time Scrooge sees that Tiny Tim is dead and then sees his own grave, I am usually excited because I know his transformation is coming. Not this time. I was merely relieved because I knew the film was surely in its final moments. Sigh.

Scrooge's redeemed state goes by very fast and is, frankly, rather dull. The excitement and the utter relief that he still has time to mend fences and make amends are, well, played out kinda lifelessly and without passion in this version. Alistair Sim does a headstand in a chair and dances around the room mussing his hair! He does it up right! His Scrooge awakens with genuine relief that his redemption is not too late. The scene where Scrooge arrives at Fred's house for dinner is rushed. Everyone seems to accept at face value that he's changed, they all eat, Bob narrates the ending, and credits roll in what seems to be a span of 1 or 2 minutes.

Several of the negative reviews I've read pan the film because it's Disney and parents wanted to take their children. That is not my quarrel with the film; I don't care that it's not a kid movie. I am aggravated with it because it has distractions, it omits some truly great dialogue and plotlines, it misses many opportunities and it completely aborts the joy of Scrooge's redemption at the end.

If you go to see this one, go at your own risk. If you're in the Christmas spirit, you'll be much better off renting the Alistair Sim or George C. Scott version and having a nice night at home instead.