Wow. Her stock just went up in my book!

I must admit I have never been just a crazy super-fan of Cameron Diaz. I don't dislike her by any means but she was never someone particularly on my radar. Then I saw this article on MSN today and I was like, "Wow. Her stock just went up in my book. Preach on, sister, preach the fuck on."

http://wonderwall.msn.com/movies/cameron-diaz-talks-to-parade-about-loss-aging-men-and-her-ugly-days--1515448.story/?gt1=28135

More specifically, the two parts that got my attention were:

"I have an unbelievable life. In some ways, I have the life that I have because I don't have children."

"Most people that I know who are living with somebody are complaining about how that other person is taking up their space, but I'm not that way."


It's really refreshing to me to hear someone keeping it real about enjoying the burdens they DON'T have in life. It seems for all the progress we've made, we are still conditioned in some ways to punish ourselves and/or to put up with punishment from others if we choose not to have children, not to get married, not to run through a revolving door of relationships, enjoy singlehood too much, etc. She is right in her comment about people complaining-- for every couple I know who's married or living together happily, there are at least 10 others who seem to be utterly miserable. It's depressing when you think about it and it certainly does not make me want to rush out and toss myself in the same horrid situation. I know people who will spend as much time away from home as possible because they hate their spouse. I know people who talk to their spouse like a dog because the love is totally gone from the marriage. I know people who are the same age as me who have already been married and divorced MULTIPLE times. (And I am 28, for the record.) WTF, people? Something else that amazes me too is how many people tell me, in truly candid moments, "You are doing the smart thing by avoiding the marriage and kids ball-and-chain." It used to be that only men would tell me that. Now it seems more women are telling me that. I won't say where I was when this happened, but I had an office appointment a couple of weeks ago and this woman who hardly even knows me confessed a myriad of personal details to me apropos of nothing, including that she hates her in-laws, resents her workaholic husband and feels tied down and trapped by her young children. She told me in no uncertain terms, "The longer you can put all this off, the better you'll be. In fact, if I had it to do over again, I would not get married and I wouldn't have kids." This woman is not much older than me and yet, because she is tired and miserable, she looks like she is about 45. In the legal world, the M-bomb is said to be the word "malpractice." In my world, the M-bomb would be "marriage." Anyway, thanks to Cameron Diaz for being an honest spokesperson: life is amazing because I'm not tied down to a family of squalling kids.

This topic is also relevant to my recent revisitation of The Awakening. I can definitely say that having re-read the book as an adult the same age as the protagonist, I can leave it be, LOL. There were moments when I felt like I was slugging through the book like, well, a slug. Ugggh. But it was productive at least because it made me think about things. About how certain things are so different from how they were 100 years ago and how other things are not different at all. I really get how Adele tells Edna that she should not forget about her children. When you take on the responsibility of having kids, you must take care of them. They don't ask to be born and if you have them, take care of them. And on the other hand, I also get how Edna describes that she would do anything for her children-- give up money and even her own life-- but that she would never give up herself for anyone. That is the kind of quotation that hits you like a ton of bricks. Edna would give up the material things that are "unimportant" and that you can't take with you when you go but she will not change her beliefs or alter the essence of who she is to please other people. Wow.