So Much to Say, So Much to Say, So Much to Say

I'm not even really a DMB fan but I think this song sums it up really well: So Much to Say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81PfFrl6Ars


If I tried to recap the last vacation to LA, I would fall short. I mean, there was just so much that happened that I could never sum it up adequately. So I am not even gonna try. I will just make a list of quotes, sights, things that come to mind, free association, etc. And things will inevitably be left out but that's just how it is.


*Being wicked exhausted on Monday because we'd had an early morning flight and then got sucked into a very late night of it in Hollywood.

*Inadvertantly ending up at the Observe and Report red carpet premiere at the Chinese Theater and peeping game at the "celebrities" who were there. (And in many cases, I use the term "celebrity" very loosely.)

*Having to walk through the really peculiar after party for said film just to attempt to get the HELL out of the Hollywood and Highland center.

*Debunking many myths about what a red carpet premiere actually looks like.

*Debunking many myths about what celeb homes and neighborhoods actually look like.

*Debunking the entire myth of Rodeo Drive.

*Debunking the myth of Bel Air while sitting on a toilet that was 6 feet tall and staring at the fact that someone had shaved his or her pubes and pasted them on the bathroom wall.

*Getting stiffed out of the Getty Museum because they were having some random event.

*Wondering why no kids in the LA area were in SCHOOL on weekdays.

*Massive people watching in Venice Beach that involved druggies, hippies, preachers, performers, buskers, hobos, artists, etc.

*Enjoying the hell out of being in a warmer climate with access to beaches.

*Debunking the myth of what it is like to go to a TV taping.

*Debunking the myth of "reality" TV having no possible semblance to reality. I like AGT and will continue to watch it but I can safely say that seeing the audition process firsthand makes me realize how prefabricated and constructed it all is.

*Seeing a woman who looked like a female Hannibal Lecter sitting across the aisle from me at said AGT taping.

*Being asked yet again if I could be filmed and "made famous" and declining the offer.

*Talking to Vladimir, a Franco-Russian who told me everyone in Munich looks like a supermodel, Fiji is overrun with giant mosquitoes, and, my favorite quote from him: "America may have talent but it clearly has no style."

*Being amazed at how many people ignored the statement that we were supposed to be on a dress code for the TV taping and showed up in clothes that were ripped/stained/wrinkled, flip flop shoes, rumpled hair, hobo attire, etc.

*Seeing busted drug pipes on the street as an everyday happening.

*Hearing two lesbians talking in Redondo Beach and one of them saying, "Well, you don't get high the first time you do it."

*Eating some truly good-ass food at several places in the area.

*Being proud of myself for not acting like a Breadhead at any point in time around famous people.

*Me saying to a friend: "Frankly I would have to say liking someone who got a public beating from Jezza is low on the damn totem pole compared to hanging out with hookers, porn stars and men with bad toupees."

*Making fun of Rob H's clothing choices at the Chinese Theater and saying, "I remember what a rude ass you were in Austin."

*A man who tried to hide in the bushes and take paparazzi photos.

*Weird people discussing kosher breast milk.

*A child named Jonah who had a sumo wrestler's hairdo bun.

*Hella chicks and dudes in Bev Hills who thought they were big time celebs.

*Seeing the bathroom where George Michael got busted.

*Being amazed that the clubs on the Sunset Strip were nowhere near as exciting or spectacular as we'd imagined. These places where celebs hang out and get photographed are, trust me, not as great as you believe them to be. Once you see them in person, the blinders are taken off your eyes and you see things as they are rather than how the media trumps them up to be.

*Seeing only 4 cars at the Body Shop.

*Walking by ourselves after dark up the trail where the Manson murders took place and being truly creeped out.

*Encountering a ghost at the Greystone Mansion.

*Smelling a farty ghost at the Roosevelt Hotel.

*Returning to 25 degrees for a meal only to find it greasy and underwhelming.

*Seeing a flute player asleep outside the Jimmy Kimmel Live sign.

*Seeing a strange combo of people at the zoo ranging from stoners to businessmen to rock star wannabe dads to hobags in booty shorts to married couples fighting.

*Thinking at various times that LA traffic is not as bad as fighting through the Tulsa IDL.

*Being pissed off that the TV in our hotel had a really poor selection of TV channels.

*Pouring money into a plastic cup for the Order Inn delivery guy and me telling him, "Hold out your paws and take this" when he showed up.

*Seeing a number of people who were doppelgangers and again experiencing the unexpected kindness of strangers. Any vacation that involves Count Morgan will involve the following things: a wind storm in Oklahoma, weather anomalies in general, doppelgangers, a feeling of being in a parallel universe and/or a dream sequence and the unexpected kindness of strangers.

*"That guy over there looks like if Kevin lost 100 lbs and had 50 more to lose and was treating himself with greasy diner food before he gets back to his diet. And that other guy over there looks like if Seth MacFarlane had an older brother who highlighted his hair blonde."

*"Is that James Qualls?"
"No. It looks more like Dick Faurot the weatherman than James Qualls. I guess it's Quay Jalls. And why does he have a husband who keeps wanting to get up and beatbox in public?"




That's as much as I can recap at the moment. I am sure additional things will pop into my head as time goes by.