"You remember when James, Jezza and Richard . . ."

"You remember when James, Jezza and Richard were on the trip in America and--"
"They stopped at that hick gas station? Yes, I already know what you mean!"

Subtitles:
"Aw, fuck off. I'm Clive Owen. That's mental."
"BBQ and music snobbery are key traits."
"I am not Quasimodo."
"When hetero men have gotten you down, go to the gay bar and watch a drag show."
"If you get a bad vibe from him, I don't care. I want his bad vibe."
"Lord Stig"
"When I say 'it's not you, it's me' what I actually mean is it's 80% you and 20% me."
"It's Officer Barbie!"
"FEAST ON MY MAGNIFICENCE!"


The only way I know how to write this particular blog entry is stream of consciousness as things pop into my head.






Baby lets just knock it off
They don't know what we been through
They don't know 'bout me and you
So I got something new to see
And you just gon' keep hatin' me
And we just gon' be enemies
I know you can't believe
I could just leave it wrong
And you can't make it right

What I don't get is why grown-ass people have to act like teenaged kids when something goes wrong. Quite honestly, when any friendship or relationship breaks apart, it's going to be painful and it's going to suuuuck. Why make it any worse on yourself by acting like an asshole, running your mouth and talking shit, especially when the other person has not warranted that sort of behavior? I don't get it.




I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to . . .


"Hope you like prison food, crims."

Damn it, I can't help but laugh. I was all prepared to write this down-and-out blog entry about why people in adulthood have to be so childish to each other and I can't stop laughing. I was laughing yesterday watching the finale of Extras where Clive Owen doesn't find any of the prostitutes acceptable and says, "Aww, fuck off. I'm Clive Owen. That's mental." That is sort of my new thing at the moment. Not only did it make me laugh, it was an odd ego boost in its own strange way. Just kinda thought, "Why am I even allowing myself to get morose over something that was a blip on the radar screen anyway?" Now I find myself laughing because of this Top Gear ep. It really is true that I can be having-- oh God, another stream of consciousness moment. Jezza just called James "Inspector Morose" and James called Stig "a member of the criminal classes." I nearly peed myself. "I can see the miscreant approaching in the rearview mirror." CLASSIC! That was the moment when an important piece of my lingo was popped in. Miscreant. Fuck me, that's brilliant. Anyway, it really is true that I can be having a terrible day, feeling just awful, and if I pop in an ep of Top Gear, I am laughing riotously in no time. I am to the part now where Jezza gets alongside Stig's car and that spike on the wheel catches and completely rips the wheel off, to which James dryly replies, "You have FAILED to apprehend the MISCREANT." Oh God, I have laughed to tears. You just can't watch it without laughing. So readers out there, if you are having a crappy day as I was, feeling a little downtrodden and mistreated, get thee to your TV or to YouTube and watch Top Gear. It's simply brilliant!