And in light of my astrological results a little while back, my thought was:
In other news, if I'd had a camera this afternoon, I could be a millionaire. I saw a funny hodgepodge of crazy MF-ers at this gas station I frequent. There was a woman standing by a motorcycle smoking a cigarette and she had half of the buttons on this TIGHT ASS pair of jeans she was wearing undone. She looked mad and like she was waiting on someone who was never going to show up. At the front of the station, a van had broken down and the passengers of this van were truly ghastly. Let me break it down person-by-person, saving the driver for last:
*The van itself: white with areas of missing paint and corrosion to the body, a smoking radiator, no apparent AC since every window on the thing was rolled down or popped open, looked to be left over somehow from the 80s.
*One teenage girl who looked like she had a black tanktop tucked into a white adult diaper. I do not know what sort of shorts they were but they had no real leg coverage. They covered her buttcheeks and that was it. And yes, they taped at the sides like a diaper. Perhaps, indeed, it was a diaper.
*Second teenage girl who looked like she was a "yes man" to the first girl. She kept following the first girl around and looking at her with obvious eyes of admiration. Not sure if they are sisters or if they are lovers. But second girl is clearly infatuated in some manner with the first one. She is wearing Daisy Duke shorts rather than a diaper.
*Mother is running around with empty pop bottles trying to fill them with water to help cool the radiator. She is wearing cut-offs, no shoes and a West Coast Choppers t-shirt intended for a man. It looked like she could have fit a couple of other people with her in the shirt at the same time.
*And now the piece de resistance: Big Papa. Ok, so, you typically think of stretch marks as being the plight of pregnant women. Not so, blog readers. This man had stretch marks on his stomach to the point where it looked like he'd been clawed by bears. He had tons of tattoos, but not good ones. Like the stereotypical tats someone gets when they think they want to be a bad ass but they don't know how to pull it off exactly. He had a balding thing up top and a long straggled ponytail in the back. He too was wearing jean cut-offs and his Hanes briefs were visible. He was wearing those black rubber sandals you get for $2 at Wal-Mart with white tube socks. He had thick metal safety style glasses on. No shirt. Just mad torso hanging out for me to see.
That's the sort of thing I see on the average errand. It's never anything like this:
I contend that this combination (including myself, of course) would create so much heat, it would burn hotter than the sun itself, leaving the earth as nothing but a heap of ash. My friend said, "You could give global warming a new meaning if you got a fire started with those two." Freakin' totally. Al Gore would never sleep again.
